Stillborn: Still Loved

Two years has passed since the morning I woke up, and sat down on my couch to find I was leaking fluid. Two years has passed since I told my company that I needed to go the emergency room and they drove me the 50 miles… Two years sometimes still feels like yesterday. I still remember the littlest of details as if this happened yesterday... I can remember laying there in that triage room while the nurses came in and told me that what I feared most, The fluid leaking  was amniotic fluid.   I remember being blind- sided by the on call doctor coming in, and asking me which hospital I wanted to be transported to, so that I could deliver Jacob early, since they were a Catholic hospital and wouldn’t induce labor.   I remember being terrified and extremely upset. I was all alone and my husband at the time was stuck on location in an oil field… I remember the nurse telling me that they didn’t know sometimes things like that happened…but they did and they were sorry. ...

Uses for Magnesium Sulfate for pregnant women: Pre-eclampsia Stops preterm labor and contractions Neuroprotection for unborn babies      Three days into my five day stay at the Houston hospital , a perinatologist, from a team of six,that was taking care of myself and Jake decided that putting me on Magnesium would be in his best interest.  I was told that this would protect him from damage to his neuro-system.    I had previous experience with this particular perinatologist, and was already not her biggest fan.  I accepted her judgment however, and prepared for the hours of feeling bad, this medicine was going to bring upon me.    I phoned my mother, four hours away, and she began the drive to Houston to be with me.    I was able to get up for the first time in three weeks to take a shower, then I was told I must stay in bed and not get up.  I would get to feeling really hot and just altogether...

January 22nd I started the hardest journey of my life. I woke up about 5:30am, after having the chills and what felt like a fever all night.  I kissed my husband goodbye, since he had to be at work at 6:30 that morning... went and sat on the couch and noticed that all wasn't right.  We had company over so I just tried relaxing on the couch since I had been placed on complete bed rest. About 8:15 or 8:30 I began noticing a sensation I hadn't before. My water had broken.  I called my mother and my husband and let them know I was going to the emergency room.  After that I told my company I had to leave, and they so kindly packed all of their things and drove me the 50+ miles to the closest hospital.       Upon arrival, my worst fears were confirmed... my water had broken at 21 weeks and the prognosis was not good.  The on call doctor told me I had two options, option a.) sit and wait for my body to go into labor or b.) be transferred ...