Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Tears

Tears are common in grief, especially in the early days,weeks and months following loss. For me the further I move away from loss, less and less tears fall. I have become used to the sadness and pain of losing Jacob and live with it daily.  So yesterday, driving down the road with Jake's big brother Payton to his t-ball game I really wasn't suspecting tears.  My son and my niece were being kids, pestering each other with their feet and toys and funny names... then it all stopped and they were quiet. We were listening to the radio when Payton out of the blue says to me, "momma, I wish Jacob was here." "He would have so much fun playing with me and Avery."  Avery is their little sister (my rainbow, due in August).  I was so sad, I got teary eyed.  If only he knew how much I wish every single day that my sweet Jacob was here with us too. I would love for the boys to be able to play together and protect their baby sister.    I look forward to getting to know my sweet rainbow and teaching her all about her big brother in Heaven. I know he must love her just the same as we do... more than anything. <3

I miss you Jacob Austin! Love you forever!
You'll always be my baby!




This is Payton and Jacob's little sister Avery Grace. <3 I had a dream that is what I named her... it turns out Avery means "from the Heavens"... I love it and can't wait to meet my sweet rainbow!



Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Infant and Child headstone ideas

Many times a week I see parents searching the internet for infant and child headstone ideas, as well as stillborn baby epitaphs, and epitaphs for infants.  I hope I can be of some help to all of these parents.  I have been in your shoes, "Googling" all of these exact terms, trying to find the perfect stone and wording for my son's very own headstone.  I know all of these decisions are hard and you wish anyone but you had to make them, but I promise you, you will get through it. << Big hugs to you>>

Most of the ideas for headstones below are from the monument company here in Texas that I ordered my son's headstone from.  I'm sure other monument companies across the world could replicate these if you just ask.

The first one I came across is Winnie the Pooh.  It is fairly common here in Texas and often used for older children.

Clyde Partin Monument Co. Inc. | Family Owned and Operated Since 1934
 
Most babies and children are comforted by a teddy bear, why not give them an everlasting teddy with a headstone like this one below?
Clyde Partin Monument Co. Inc. | Family Owned and Operated Since 1934
 
The particular company that created my son's headstone as well as the two  above, also have a headstone in the shape of sweet little lamb, that has daisies and grass at it's feet. 
Sweet lamb headstone
 
Since we live in Texas, and all country boys need a good horse, I chose the headstone above for my stillborn son.  This stone was customized to my wants and is perfect for my precious boy.
 
Some cemeteries employ restrictions such as no upright headstones and only flat grave markers may be used.  Below are some design ideas:
 
This one pictures a sweet cherub and a lamb. This image was found on http://www.fortworthmonument.com/gallery.nxg
Infant Memorial 3
 
If you would like a flat grave marker without the bronze, most monument companies offer etching and have books with hundreds of pictures available for you to place on the stone you have chosen.  These pictures include all animal types, angels, crosses, even hobbies. They try to accommodate everyone's likes.  Most of the time you may also add a photo for an even more personal touch.
 
When you finally decide to pursue ordering a headstone for your sweet baby or precious child, please do not be discouraged for fear of not being able to pay for the whole stone at one time.  Most companies I have found offer payment plans.  For instance, I paid a deposit for half the cost of the stone up front, and was billed for the other half, once it had been placed.  This takes some of the strain off of your already hurting hearts and wallets.
 
Wording was the biggest challenge I found in ordering Jacob's headstone.  I wanted it to be perfect as I knew it would be with my sweet boy long after I am in Heaven with him.  I one time read where sometimes song lyrics are used as an epitaph and that is what I chose.  However, there are other sweet sayings you can put on your baby's headstone.
 
  • "A tiny flower, lent not given, to bud on earth, and bloom in heaven"
  • " You didn't have enough time to make handprints on our walls, instead you left fingerprints on our hearts"
  • "A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts"
I hope this has helped some. I know the process of memorial shopping is difficult and overwhelming.  Please message me at Jessica.Stillloved@yahoo.com if there's anything I can help you with in shopping for the perfect headstone for your baby.