Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Tears

Tears are common in grief, especially in the early days,weeks and months following loss. For me the further I move away from loss, less and less tears fall. I have become used to the sadness and pain of losing Jacob and live with it daily.  So yesterday, driving down the road with Jake's big brother Payton to his t-ball game I really wasn't suspecting tears.  My son and my niece were being kids, pestering each other with their feet and toys and funny names... then it all stopped and they were quiet. We were listening to the radio when Payton out of the blue says to me, "momma, I wish Jacob was here." "He would have so much fun playing with me and Avery."  Avery is their little sister (my rainbow, due in August).  I was so sad, I got teary eyed.  If only he knew how much I wish every single day that my sweet Jacob was here with us too. I would love for the boys to be able to play together and protect their baby sister.    I look forward to getting to know my sweet rainbow and teaching her all about her big brother in Heaven. I know he must love her just the same as we do... more than anything. <3

I miss you Jacob Austin! Love you forever!
You'll always be my baby!




This is Payton and Jacob's little sister Avery Grace. <3 I had a dream that is what I named her... it turns out Avery means "from the Heavens"... I love it and can't wait to meet my sweet rainbow!



5 comments:

  1. What a sweet boy! The missing is hard and moments like that its hard to stop the tears. I am so excited for your rainbow baby!! Praying that all goes well!!

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    1. It was so very hard to keep it together.. I had on sunglasses,so I just let the tears fall..drove and tried to focus on the radio and the game we were going to. I didn't want to be sad the whole game. Thank you for the prayers for Avery and I. I appreciate them so very much. All seems to be going very well. I have an appointment Wednesday to check on her again. :)

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  2. Oh my goodness CONGRATULATIONS on your sweet rainbow!! Your right the tears are less now but they can can still sneak up on us. What a sweet big brother Jake has!

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    1. Thank you so much Tesha! It looks like we will all have little rainbows together! :) I'm excited! I think Jake has a very sweet big brother as well. He's the best!

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  3. What a sweet sweet boy♥ Congratulations! I love the name:)

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