Stillborn: Still Loved

  Here comes Peter Cottontail... hopping down the bunny trail...   but my tiniest boy isn't here for Easter this year either.  It seems so unreal that this will already be my second year without Jake.   My baby boy should be toddling around as fast as his little legs could take him to each Easter egg hiding place.  This week he should be having his first experience with dunking his tiny fingers and eggs into cups of dye, and turning them colors for the perfect Easter weekend... But even more, he should be here with his family to learn about Jesus dying on the cross, being buried, and him rising again... That's most important.  I know he probably already knows everything he needs to know now, in Heaven.  I just wish I could've taught him.   I'm sure the Easter Bunny will visit my sweet baby Jake's little spot out in the country and leave a giant Easter egg or two... just for decoration.   This Easter hasn't hit me quite as hard as last year,

  Not long ago I was strolling around our local Wal-Mart for various and assorted things we needed around the house.  I've been wanting for a good while to plant Jacob some flowers, so I ventured out to their garden center.  I found so many beautiful flowers, it was all I could do not to buy one of them all. :)  I bought two pots of these daffodils. I believe they were $1.30 a piece.     I also found these purple petunias, and decided they would look great in front of Jacob's headstone.   In addition to the Petunias and Peach and White daffodils, I also bought these yellow daffodils and two brilliantly red tulips.  These were about $.82 a piece.   Later, I purchased a planter box and potting soil, went home and dug my fingers into the dirt and placed them all like I wanted them, then drove them to my baby boy.   This is the arrangement in front of his headstone.  I planted the peach/white daffodils on either end of his headstone.   A couple

It has been almost a month since Jacob's first birthday in Heaven.  For the most part we had a good day as a family.  As always, I had a hard time leaving my sweet baby boy at the cemetery.  I hated for his little body to be there all by himself on his birthday.  After we released our balloons we came home  as a family and ate a small lunch and birthday cake.  It was a good day... one with some tears and great memories of a precious boy, gone too soon.  These tags were attached to the bottom of the 20 balloons we released.    momma before I handed out the balloons for release   Jake's papa also held some... he thought he was being funny :)   Jake's big brother, Uncle Cody and Aunt Jackie This is my 3 yr old niece holding hers to send to Jake   away they flew...  fly to Heaven Jake's First Birthday Cake   The same stationer friend that created the balloon tags, also created these memorial cards for Jacob's first birthda