Stillborn: Still Loved

A couple of days ago my mother and I bought Jake his first little Christmas tree.  Yesterday, we went shopping at Hobby Lobby for the ornaments that would accompany the sweet baby's first Christmas ornament I purchased a couple of months ago. I picked out a snowflake garland, little dinosaurs, ,pink, green,orange and blue ornaments as well as some silver ones... and a little snowman tree topper. To finish off his tree I picked out a tiny tree skirt for the bottom.  I have so much blogging to catch up on in the next couple of weeks... I got so busy trying to graduate college... I haven't had to time to visit with all of my bloggy mom friends.    Jake's First Tree Christmas 2012             The Lord is near to all who call upon him Psalm 145:18   My support group gave me the beautiful angel ornament  above at our Walk to Remember this year.   Jake's Snowman tree topper ...

It's approaching Thanksgiving, and many people whom I am friends with on Facebook are posting things they are thankful for everyday as statuses.  This gave me the idea to post here, what moments I am thankful for to have had with Jacob, or things I'm thankful for now, while grieving.     Today I am thankful for the Five Months 3 Weeks and 5 Days I held Jake close to my heart and for the two sacred times I held him in my arms outside my body.   I am thankful for the wonderful Nursing staff and doctors who worked tirelessly to keep Jake and I comfortable in the 21 days  I was hospitalized.   I am incredibly thankful for my supportive family who has shown me continuous love since Jake passed away.   I am thankful for the new gentleman the Lord has placed in my life who is not afraid to acknowledge Jake's life and death and his significance in my life.  He willingly listens when I am sad, and looks at pictures of my sweet ba...

Hi everyone! Hope you have had a great early part of your week!  I'm posting several days of capture your grief in one blog.  There are several missing, because I just don't have anything that applies to those days... such as a shrine or altar... although I love Jake.. I don't have an altar for him.  Also, I really haven't gotten into any projects yet, nor have I become involved with any charity organizations.   Much love to you all!

I think I mixed up the day numbers... but needless to say here are pictures of my supportive family, scents and community      

  October 10th - Jake has now been in Heaven 8 whole months.   This past week has been hard for me.   Saturday the 6th, my family and I attended our first Walk to Remember.  The emotion was overwhelming... My mother and I spent most of the day Thursday and Friday attempting to make shirts to wear to the event.  We wanted to order professional shirts, but  procrastinated a little too long. :)  Friday while at Hobby Lobby shopping for supplies, I thought I would look at Christmas decorations.  That was a bad idea, I found the sweetest Baby's First Christmas stocking holder.  It was beautifully silver plated, and had the words written in baby blue.  Needless to say, I was a ball of tears in the  middle of the aisle.  I'm not ready for holidays without my baby, and seeing that on the weekend I was supposed to be honoring him, was just hard.  I managed to pull through and in the end just had my wonderfully...

Life has gotten in the way lately of my blogging.    Day 8 : Jewelry   I really don't have any specific jewelry for Jacob yet.  These are some of the necklaces I would like:     I want a little charm like this too:        So, with that being said, here is my photo for Day 9 . It is a special place on my dresser with pictures of both of my precious sons and the elephant that decorated an arrangement at Jake's funeral.      Day 10 : A Symbol   I Love seeing Jake's name places.. here are a few...      

I have been pretty busy the last couple of days, trying to get ready for today's Walk to Remember, that I didn't have time to post Day 4's picture.  I was at a loss for what type of Memorial picture to post.. so that will have to be later. :)   Jake's lambie  and his cap and blanket        

Momma and Jakey, right after he was born. I was trying my best to smile through the tears and sorrow. <3 I love that precious boy!

Today my photo is a picture of my tummy that I took with my phone and saved to one of my pregnancy apps on my phone.  It's so funny to me looking at this photo today, since I haven't seen it in about a year.  I turned on an old phone today, and this was in my gallery... such a perfect day to find a picture of my baby boy happy in my tummy. <3  At the time I took this picture I thought my tummy was so big.  I couldn't have been more than 12-13 weeks pregnant.  I wish he could've stayed here more than the 10 or less weeks he did after this picture was taken... and that he was here in my arms today. My sweet baby would be four months old. 

Today is October 1st, the first day of Carly Marie's Capture your Grief Photo Challenge.   I missed the actual sunrise this morning, because I was getting my eldest son out of bed and ready for school.  However, our drive and the sky was beautiful this morning.     I am anxious to see all of my mommy friend's photos as well.  I know in a year from now our grief will look totally different.   Love you all, praying for you.   Happy Monday Morning!