Thursday, June 7, 2012

More balloons for Jacob

Sunday, June 3,2012 has now come and gone.  For the most part, it was uneventful... I lounged in bed until around 11:30 when I decided no matter how much I wanted the day to go away it wouldn't, and I had to face it. We, as a family carried on in our normal lunch routine and smoked some slabs of ribs, chicken and etc... About 4:30pm we left to buy balloons to send Jake since we hadn't gotten any on Saturday afternoon. It was very hard deciding what to get.We decided on baby blue & brown balloons with white polka dots and also some green ducky balloons that said splish splash or something. Very cute!We then ran several other errands and eventually made it to the cemetery. 

We took time to write notes on baby feet paper I found and attach them to each balloon. What we didn't realize was that each time we did this we were tangling them up. :)   

 We headed to release them and they were in a big glob. This just wouldn't work, so we spent the next hour untangling balloon strings in the 90° weather with the same percentage of humidity. 
We ended up releasing them in about sets of three. 

I normally like sending my sweet Jake balloons.  I cannot say my heart was fully in it Sunday. I know Jake knows how miserable I am without him though and all the other happenings in my life currently. 
After we released our balloons, it was almost 7:20pm and time to go home.
I stopped to tell Jake bye.  That was the WORST, HARDEST part of the day. I hate so much having to leave my baby boy there!! Hate it! He should never have had to stay there before me.

The sweet lady at the store putting them in a sack
We got green, brown and blue balloons
When we first got there. : )
I LOVE polka dots and the duckie balloons were super cute too!
Payton always has to pick Jake flowers - these are the ones he picked this time.
Payton's so cute, we were busy trying to fix the balloons, and Payton sat down beside Jake's little pinwheel and said Take a Picture of me and Jake! Oh so Precious! I know he misses him.
Payton wrote a sweet letter to Jake, that was attached to one of his ballons.  It said I love Jake in his best 5 year old handwriting and said Payton at the bottom, with several sweet attempts at hearts around it. <3
I wrote him notes as well... and sent them to Heaven

With a couple of kisses, of course!
We'd been there so long, Payton plopped down to watch the rest of the balloons fly.
I thought the church, tree and steeple made a beautiful picture on Jake's due date.  <3


  1. Love those balloons! They are super cute! We did balloons for my Caroline's first birthday and it was horribly hard. I hated every.single.second of it. I can appreciate the sentiment behind it and my big boys loved to do so I guess we will keep it up. Emotionally it just felt like a kick in the gut.
    I can only imagine how you must have felt having to leave that day :(. We had Caroline cremated (which is normally an idea that just grosses me out) but so that way we could have her with us in our house. She sits up on the mantle in our family room and I swear being able talk to her or "touch" her is the only thing that gets me through some days.

    Lots of love to you!


    1. Awww. I'm glad you sent Caroline some too. :) I definitely understand your feelings of being kicked... it's most definitely not a good feeling at all.

      I Love that you have Caroline with you... I am the same way however though, and cremation, doesn't so much gross me out as it creeps me out... I really can't stand to think about it... I don't even like driving by funeral homes that do it. ;) Silly, I know. There's nothing wrong with it at all... I'm sure it is really nice to have sweet Caroline in your house and be able to talk to her and touch her as much as you can... I very much wish we could see and talk to our babies.

      Lots of Love to you too!

  2. Beautiful balloons! I love the green, blue, and brown together.

    It looks like you had a special day for your precious boy. I know it must have been tough, but you do a beautiful job at being his mama. And what a sweet older brother Jake has <3

    1. Aw, thanks Hannah!

      We did have a good day. ;) Jake has a great older brother. <3 love them both so much!

  3. I am glad you made it through I know it was hard. I love the balloons we have not done a balloon release yet but I LOVE the idea. I read your comment to Hillary cremation freaks me out to but we had to do it because plots where we live are crazy expensive. Praying for you during this difficult time my friend.

    1. Oh Tesha, I can only imagine how expensive everything is there. I'm very thankful that where Jake was buried is the church I grew up in and they didn't charge me for the plot, just the cemetery maintenance fee.

      I hope you get to send balloons to Johnathan soon. Payton loves it, I'm sure your kids would too. Thank you for praying for me, you're in my prayers too as your due date approaches. :)