Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Ordering Jacob's headstone

Hi. I'm so sorry you are here.  If you are looking for ideas on headstones for babies and children please visit the blog address below:
 
Below, is my experience in ordering my stillborn son Jacob's headstone and choosing the perfect wording to go on it. <3 Big hugs to you!
 




The biggest day of my life since losing Jacob and the funeral was yesterday.  Yesterday, was the day I ordered my sweet baby boy's headstone.  I had originally planned on placing the order on Friday, but for unknown reasons, the owner of the company was out of town and would not return until Monday.  

I have been debating for a good while on what I wanted his headstone to say.  I conducted numerous searches on the Internet for infant headstone quotes, epitaphs and so on... I never truly found one that I just loved.  Then, last week I found a website, that now, some people include lyrics of songs on headstones. I decided this was the perfect idea for sweet baby Jacob's headstone.  I would put the lyrics from one of the songs played at his funeral on the back.  

I chose Godspeed by the Dixie Chicks.  The back of his headstone will say:
My Love will fly to you each night on Angel's wings
We Love and miss you
Love, Mommy, Payton, Mimi and Papa

 I had built this day up in my mind so much, that I was shocked that I managed to stay calm and relaxed during the whole process and didn't shed one tear. : )
It wasn't until I returned home, left alone with my thoughts at bedtime that I had any sort of sadness... although I miss my baby boy terribly.  

From the time of my order to the date Jacob's headstone will be finished is approximately 60 days.  60 days means that is should be finished by August 18,2012.  I couldn't help but think how Jacob will be six months old then... and that maybe it would be finished by the 10th for his birthday.  

There it is.

The thought that broke my heart.

No baby should EVER get a HEADSTONE for their BIRTHDAY!!

EVER!

No matter when Jacob's headstone is finished, I will be so very glad to see it.  I am so ready for my sweet Jacob to have his rocking horse.  I am more than ready for everyone to know exactly who Jacob Austin is and how much his mommy and whole family loved and adored him.  

I will post pictures when his rocking horse is done and with him.

Have a Great Tuesday!

 
Today is the Bereaved Mommies link up at Tesha's Treasures... click the link below to join this great blog hop.
teshastreasures

12 comments:

  1. Oh gosh that seems so very hard. It was difficult choosing Jonathan urn I wanted it to be perfect. I love that song by the Dixie Chicks and sing it as I fall asleep sometimes. You are so right no mommy should have to pick our her baby's headstone. SO I saw on your comment you are communicating with grief share...have you done the program? I think I really do need some real life support even if they are strangers. Also What you said about moving forward....it IS SO HARD. There is a part of me that fights healing or getting better because then where dose that leave Jonathan. Tricky road we are on, I am glad we have each other. Also wanted to let you know your email is no turned in your profile so it is possible that people answer your comments and you do not get them. I almost answered you then realized you have a no reply address. Saying a prayer for you and swimming this upstream battle with you,

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    1. I love that song too! I haven't been to any griefshare meetings yet. I just suscribed to their emails. :) I joined a support group for mommies who have lost children. I love being so close to all mommies who know what im going through. I will try and fix my email so that i can see all replies on comments. Thank you so much for the continued prayer. <3

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  2. Hi from Tesha's. Thank you for sharing your journey so openly. We are also in the process of choosing our son's headstone, something I never thought I would have to do.

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    1. Hi Kristy! Thank you for visiting! I never once dreamed either that I would have to consider words for a child of mine's headstone. It breaks my heart. I pray that you find the perfect one for your sweet Johnathan. :)

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  3. It's such a horrible process isn't it? I hated having to pick out Caroline's urn. I couldn't hardly do it at all. The funeral home had nothing that we liked so Bobby started looking online. I just couldn't bring myself to look at all. I ended up telling him that I wanted it to look like a silver jewelry box that a little girl might want to have in her room. Thankfully he was able to find one or two that might work so I only had to make a decision from those and not hundreds.

    I can't wait to see how Jacob's turns out!

    lots of love to you today~ xoxox

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    1. HIllary, this process truly is one I hope to never experience again. I am so glad that your husband did the shopping for your daughter's urn. I love the fact that you wanted to look like a jewelry box. <3 Isn't it funny how mommy's have the vision for what's perfect for our babies, even when they're in Heaven. Lots of Love ! XOXOXO

      I'll post a picture of the example rocking horse headstone the monument company has on their website. :)

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  4. I'm so happy for you getting Jacob's headstone! I am excited to see photos of it when it's finished. I am sure it will be perfect. I love that song by the Dixie Chicks. That's very sweet and creative to put on his headstone. I know what you mean about it being a really important thing to do in honor of your baby. I want one for Lily SO bad, especially after 2 years and 3 months! But, I just cannot afford it at the moment. :( And Lily's daddy most certainly won't help me with it. It just sucks. I daydream about what I want on it. Doesn't that sound so sad, daydreaming about what to put on my BABY'S HEADSTONE! (two words that shouldn't be used together in the same sentence). I want it to be perfect, as I'm sure you understand.

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    1. Thank you Hannah. :) Headstones are expensive. I understand that completely. I will email you a link to the place where I ordered Jake's. I know you live in another state than me, but maybe that would give you some ideas... and not all are overly expensive. There was one that I absolutely loved... it's a little lamb, and it's about $400.00. I don't think it's sad at all that you think about and long for Lily to have a headstone. I thought very long and hard every chance I could about what I would put on Jake's. It is only with the help of my family that I am able to order Jake's so quickly. I am a full time college student currently. Thankfully, the monument company is also willing to accept a down payment now, and the rest when it is finished. That definitely helps. My husband won't be paying for any of his headstone either. It's funny how when it comes to being responsible for their children... some people aren't very capable. I know that when Lily finally does have her headstone it will be absolutely perfect. :) Her mommy wants only the best for her, as I think we all do.

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    2. I would love the link to where you ordered yours! My email address is roseandherlily@gmail.com Thank you!! :)

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    3. I'll send it to you. I'm sorry I'm so slow! :)

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  5. It took me about 7 months to pick out Reese and Scotlyn's headstone. It is so hard and un-natural. And you want it to be perfect! I think it's great that you waited so you know you've gotten exactly what you want. The words sounds perfect. What a lucky little boy he is to have you for a momma:)

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    1. Kim, thank you for making me smile. :) I very much wanted his headstone to be perfect. I prayed about it, worried about it and then finally decided that the lyrics were what I wanted it to say. I know in the end I'll be happy. The whole process does feel very unnatural ... most people never have to go through this process. Its oh so nice to talk to you other mommies who've experienced losing a child, and all these big things as well.

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