Thursday, March 22, 2012

Visits to Cemeteries

For a very long time I thought of cemeteries as dark dreadful places that I found sort of scary and thought it was  a place to be avoided.  It wasn't until after I lost my son that my thoughts have changed. Cemeteries are not dark and scary at all, but a place of love and the light of the Lord. In my opinion, most people don't know how much trouble it is to find the perfect headstone and words for loved ones.    You don't realize until you've lost someone so very close to you how many families before you have been there and done that already.  After Jacob passed away, I began the search for the perfect headstone for his tiny grave.  I found one that I adore, shaped like a rocking horse.  There are 5 here in East Texas according to the monument maker.  Some days when we have lots of time, my family and I will stop by cemeteries near our hometown to see if we can see another one.  It is very saddening to see all of the families who have lost infants and small children.  You don't realize the shear amount until you visit several places that are filled with babies who were born and died on the same day, or some that lived for a week, two weeks, a month, or for a couple of years.  This has been going on for hundreds of years.  Today, on our latest trip through one of the local cemeteries there were tiny infants' graves from the 1800's.  Each of these children's deaths saddens me and I can honestly say I have the deepest sympathy for each family.  Some headstones are so old that they have begun to grow moss over the words written with such great care.  I very much would love to find a soft brush and scrub away all of the moss that is covering these.  I'm sure I would be busy for many months.  But these are people's loved ones, tiny angels that are special to someone, even if their parents had long passed away.  I can just imagine the stares a person would receive for taking a brush and pail out to the cemetery.. for most people I know just go visit their own relatives and don't browse the whole cemetery through taking note of who is buried where and what is currently growing on their headstones.  Some things are worth preserving though and this definitely is one of them.  Sometimes a headstone is all of a person's legacy they have left.  These 3 feet of stone are what makes history.  Remember the next time you visit a cemetery that these are not just fancily carved pieces of granite and marble... but someone who was loved greatly by one or many... and each deserves respect.  Even my son Payton who is five, has learned to respect each person buried in the cemetery.  We have taught him not to walk over where a person has been buried, but around, and to set tipped over flowers upright, even to upright fallen angels.  These things were placed by the person's headstone out of love.  I'm sure the family would appreciate it, even though they'd never know we did it, turning it back to the way it was placed.. just means they can show all the visitors to the cemetery and to their loved one that they are loved and missed.

Happy Thursday All!

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