Saturday, August 4, 2012

Don't know if i'm ready















 I put a call in to the monument company earlier this week to ask a couple of questions and was informed that Jake's rocking horse headstone will be ready by the middle or late part of next week.  I was shocked... initially when I ordered it , I was told it would take a minimum of sixty days.  Thus, I was expecting a completion date of somewhere around the 18th of August or later.  Now, it is very well possible that Jake could get his headstone for his six month birthday in Heaven.   I think I was counting on that extra week to get my bearings straight.. to prepare myself for seeing Jake's rocking horse there with him.  Now, I don't have that.  Now, I just have from now until Wednesday at the earliest to come to terms with Jake's headstone being delivered.    I have been looking for the perfect flowers for his vases and I haven't found any that I just love... I know silk is the way to go because in this Texas 106 degree heat.. fresh flowers won't last... it's just hard to make that decision.  Hopefully this shopping will keep my mind occupied until his horse is delivered next week... then I'm sure I will find something else to fill my mind and time.
This is the example rocking horse from the company I ordered 
Jake's from



On one hand I am very happy that it will finally be there and there won't just be his little bees and pinwheels... but then again like Jenn mentioned the other day - it's the finality of a headstone... the permanency that makes it not so nice.   I feel like the lyrics to the song 'Over You' by Miranda Lambert.  This song says that mid-February shouldn't be so scary... and that is when Jake was born February 10th, February shouldn't have been so scary...

"It really sinks in ya know, when I see it in stone
Cause you went away,
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I’ll be OK
But I’m not going to ever get over you  "

Mommy loves you Jacob Austin!


9 comments:

  1. (((hugs))) It is hard. I'll be saying a prayer for you this week and will be anxious to see Jake's stone when you are up to sharing a picture.<3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Jenn for the prayers. I know for sure that myself and my family will need them as we visit the cemetery for the first time with his headstone there. I am ready to share it with you all. I feel obsessive, if it were up to me I would have had the headstone company take pictures of it while it was being carved and the words were being put on it. :) I needed a hug, thank you! :)

      Delete
  2. I just love that rocking horse! It's so sweetly perfect for your little man!

    xoxox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Hillary! Isn't it just the most perfect horse for my sweet baby boy? I fell in love with it the day I saw it and knew that this is what Jake needed. All Texas boys need a good horse, or a rocking horse at least. :)

      xoxoxox

      Delete
  3. I'm sure the headstone will turn out nice! I love the rocking horse. Love the song too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amy I'm sure it will too.. the sweet man who owns the company would have nothing less. :) It's funny how everyone here in these small TX towns know everyone. He is related to my ag teacher that I had in high school. I love that song by Miranda too, although it makes me teary sometimes. Hope all is well with yourself and Wiley's baby brother or sister.

      Delete
  4. Love the sweet rocking horse you picked. Praying for you as you approach Jake's six month birthday. Thank you for sharing the lovely song.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Tesha! I think his horsey will be perfect for him! :) I'm so glad you liked the song.. it tends to get stuck in my head and i'll sing it for long amounts of time. Thank you so much for the prayers!

      Delete
  5. I know what you mean, about the finality of it. But I still really want that to honor Lily, especially nearly two and a half years out.

    I really like that song.

    Silk flowers are nice to keep out there for Jake all the time, but it would be special to take some fresh flowers on occasion :)

    ReplyDelete