Sunday, May 27, 2012

Flowers and a dragonfly

Yesterday I was in town picking up a couple of things for the house, when I saw this sweet little Dragonfly on a hook.  I immediately thought of Jake and thought this would be sweet hanging on the fence in front of his tiny little grave.  So, I bought it. :o)

Today I drove out to the cemetery to take it to him.  Everyone else was busy doing their own thing, so I went by myself.  Normally, when I go the cemetery I'm sad and cry a lot.  Today I felt a great peace, just driving out there...  I had my radio on my favorite christian station and as I got close and was pulling in the song "Praise you In this Storm" by Casting Crowns was on.  I turned up and just sang.

I got out and walked to my son's grave and put his little dragonfly on the fence, and moved it a couple of times until I found the spot where I liked it the most.  I put it down low, close to him. :o)

Once I placed his dragonfly,  I sat down in the grass beside my baby boy and talked awhile... I know he can probably hear me from anywhere, but I try and talk to him when I'm at the cemetery.  I told him I brought him a dragonfly and how I would go pick him some flowers, since the ones Payton had picked the last time we were there were wilted. 
Beside the church and cemetery there is a pretty big field... as it's way out in the country. It is so pretty and peaceful.  I picked Jake a whole handful of flowers.  There were Bluebonnets, Indian paintbrushes and  also some pretty yellow,pink, white and purple wildflowers.  They were beautiful. 

This is what my handful of flowers looked like before I took it to his little grave.

This picture is of the pretty flowers upon my babies grave. <3
While I was there, a lady and her kids whom I've known forever, came to visit her husband who passed away not long ago.  They brought balloons to release for him, just like we do for Jake.  It was good to see someone else and to feel like I am not alone in loss.  After a good chat, I said goodbye to my baby boy and headed back to the car I'd left running. I opened my car door and was immediately comforted by music again.  On the radio, in God's perfect timing was Matthew West's "Strong Enough".  I sat in awe of the Lord and sang and thought of how thankful I am to have a loving Lord.  Although, I have my bad days... I am thankful for knowing my sweet boy and for my savior who promised he'd be with me through everything.   Have a Great Sunday Afternoon everyone!                              


  1. Thank you for visiting my blog and for your sweet comment. I'm so sorry you had a similar experience to mine and I am heartbroken for your loss. I am glad you found your way to blogging, as the women you will meet on this road are some of the most supportive and loving people in the world. I love the pictures you are taking and the words you are writing, keep doing it, as its good therapy! Big hugs, Nan xoxoxo

  2. I have found all the other mommies who've lost babies to be so sweet and extrememly supportive. I have made several great friends under these circumstances. I have found that blogging helps tremendously and know I will continue. Thank you so much for the hugs!
    Hugs to you as well!! XOXOXO ,Jessica

  3. Thank you for stopping by my blog. I just love that you brought the dragonfly to Jacob; every time I see a turtle, I just have to buy it. They are what remind me of Caleb; his nursery bedding was all turtles. We were visited by a turtle last Friday in the backyard. It was such an incredible moment, knowing it was Caleb's way of saying "hello!"...

    I'm so, so very sorry to hear about your loss but your words are so encouraging and inspiring to me. Please come back and visit again soon. And I will do the same.

    With Love,

    1. Charleen you are very welcome. I'm sure the visit from the turtle brought tears to your eyes. How lovely! : ) I'm so glad that Caleb sent it to you. Jake's room was going to be done in wild animals. I will most definitely come visit again soon. Happy Tuesday night!

    2. Uhh my crazy phone keeps changing the spelling of your name Chirleen