If you'd stayed a little longer...

Recently I received a newsletter from the baby loss support group I belong to.
In it there was this poem.  I really love it. 
 It touches my heart and speaks volumes of the hopes and dreams mommies and parents have for their babies before they are born.  

These things are something I will never get to do with my sweet Jacob.

If you'd stayed a little longer,
I might have felt you there,
I could've told you that your life
was the answer to my prayers.

If you'd stayed a little longer,
I'd have looked into your eyes,
and giggled when you giggled,
and rocked you when you cried.

If you'd stayed a little longer,
I would have kissed your cheek,
And sang you a lullaby
as you drifted off to sleep.

If you'd stayed a little longer,
I'd have told you of God's love
Instead he gets to show you
as he holds you up above.

I have to stay a little longer,
until my work is through.
So please wait just a little longer,
and I'll come home to you.

It is so very hard most days to not feel cheated.  I miss Jake every single day, all day. Some days are better than others... here lately I feel like all I can do is be sad.  Good things are still happening in my life, but i'm sad.  All I wanted was my sweet baby boy and the good life I feel like I deserve.  I realize that my life is still good, and the Lord is still blessing me.. just in a different way.  

Today I will try and be grateful for what I do have.  
Today I will give Payton extra hugs and kisses and maybe go visit my sweet Jake at the cemetery, even though he's not there, he's in Heaven.

Hope you have a good Tuesday that is full of  more smiles and happiness and less tears and sadness.


Comments

  1. Jenn @Treasuring Lifes BlessingsMay 15, 2012 at 11:05 AM

    ((hugs)) This journey is such a rollercoaster. It's ok to be sad & miss Jake, even when things are going ok. Cling to Jesus, he will continue to help you through all of this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JessicaMay 15, 2012 at 11:10 AM

      I will Jenn, he's all that has been getting me through. :) thanks for the hugs!

      Delete
  2. UnknownMay 15, 2012 at 12:43 PM

    I love the poem thanks for sharing it! I am sorry you are sad, I have really been struggling also. This is the week Jonathan would of joined us. I ma saying a prayer for you now, we will get through this together! (BIG HUGS)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JessicaMay 15, 2012 at 12:53 PM

      Oh Tesha, I'm sorry you too are having a hard week. I will keep you in prayer throughout the week. Jake was due June 3rd, so I'm getting closer to that date as well. ((Big hugs back)) :)I Thank you my sweet friend!

      Delete

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