Wednesday, April 4, 2012

In addition:

This post is a re-post from the other blog I write... it explains my situation a little better.  I am in the middle of a divorce - which my husband filed for while I was still in the hospital trying to save our son.  This pretty much sums up my emotions.  No one deserves to be treated the way I was... I hope this story serves as inspiration to ladies to escape such situations.

I have been so busy mourning the loss of my son that I haven't had time to be angry over my situation as a whole...for the way my husband treated me while we were married... the fact he filed for divorce(illegally might I add - filing for a divorce with no kids) while I was still in the hospital trying to save our son.  It seems to be hitting me all at once now.  There are several songs that tell more than I ever could about how I feel about him.

I really do pray most days he gets hit in the head with something...   no person should have to call the police on their spouse from their hospital room...

He was emotionally abusive and is just a stupid boy... a very sorry excuse for a man.

I don't have any respect for someone who tries to defy the law.. and for someone who has no respect for his wife or his child. 
 No man I've ever met would leave their wife all alone in the hospital.. no man would tell his wife she's selfish for trying to save their child's life..
no  man would think their child was better off in Heaven.  In my opinion a man would not tell his wife their baby wasn't even a baby, but a "fetus" at almost 24 weeks.
No man would belittle his wife to the point of tears every time he saw her...
A real man would have been by his wife's side as she tried to save their child... not tell her there is a life outside of the hospital and her.
No man I know would tell his wife not to come home and nothing else when she tells them their child had passed away..  and then proceed the day after their child passed away to text his wife to tell her he'd filed for divorce..    No man in his right mind would have his wife deliver their child alone.. not see his child or care about any of the details regarding his birth and death.  A real man would've wanted to know when his son's funeral was.. to make sure his wife and family had the support they needed. 

I can't believe that me of all people was in a situation such as this.. that anyone would feel the need to be as horrible and ugly as he could be to someone to me.  What's worse... is although my husband was ugly and horrible to me... it was my in-law's as well.  They put up and stuck up for his bad behavior.  They couldn't understand why I took offense to all of the horrible things he was doing while I was hospitalized..

It's very sad to me because I feel guilty for Jake.  I feel like Jake deserves or deserved better... he deserved a daddy who truly cared about him and who loved him... not someone who was obviously just putting on a big fat act!

I feel sorry for his next target.. the next girl who will fall for that charm he puts on until you're married.. I'm a Lucky girl to have gotten out of that abusive marriage.

For those of you needing to know the signs of abuse here they are.. I realized I was living them before I was hospitalized and knew before Jake had ever passed away that I would not be returning home to live with my husband...

No one benefits from staying in an abusive relationship.  If you or someone you know is in a relationship that shows the signs of abuse listed below.. I urge you to seek help and get out.  Luckily I had a safe refuge, some don't but there are crisis shelters in most towns.. if you are in east Texas, here is a link to the crisis center


Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior
Do you:
  • feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
  • avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
  • feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
  • believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
  • wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
  • feel emotionally numb or helpless? 
Does your partner:
  • humiliate or yell at you?
  • criticize you and put you down?
  • treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
  • ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
  • blame you for their own abusive behavior?
  • see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior
Does your partner:
  • have a bad and unpredictable temper?
  • hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you? 
  • threaten to take your children away or harm them?
  • threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
  • force you to have sex?
  • destroy your belongings?

Does your partner:
  • act excessively jealous and possessive?
  • control where you go or what you do?
  • keep you from seeing your friends or family?
  • limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
  • constantly check up on you?


  1. I haven't been on my blog in a while, so I'm just now reading this. I can not even begin to imagine or even pretend to know how you are feeling. I pray for you and your little man. You are such a strong and amazing woman and you can and will get through this! Your little man Payton and Jake are SO LUCKY to have you as their momma! I can already tell from just reading on here your an amazing mother. So many hugs and prayers are being sent your way!

  2. Cassie you are so sweet, thank you so much! I love my boys so very much! I know I have to get through all of this mess for them... especially Payton. :) Thank you for praying for my family and I. Times are most definitely rough.

    Big hugs to you as well and continued prayers for you.